We independent women, some mistake us for whores,-Lil’ Kim
I’m sayin’, why spend mine when I can spend yours,
Disagree? Well that’s you and I’m sorry,
I’mma keep playing these cats out like Atari ?
While you’re reading this article, go ahead and put Lady Marmalade (Moulin Rouge) on blast and repeat until you’re done (it’s a long post!)
Sugar dating or “sugaring” is a side hustle not often found on most people’s money-making lists. Stereotyping is still rampant regarding this kind of companionship, which is why there is still a stigma attached to the industry. One of the biggest misconceptions in sugar dating is that only “dirty old men” and “gold diggers” engage in this kind of relationship. But that is far from what sugaring dynamics are.
In recent years, sugar dating has skyrocketed in popularity as more become open about this setup. This situation is especially true for university students who want to avoid school debts. It is also popular with young professionals who want to jumpstart their finances or need mentorship. If you’re interested in entering the sugar dating scene, here are the things you need to know first before getting started.
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What’s a Sugar Baby?
Sugar dating or “sugaring” is a dating arrangement in which a financially-capable older individual (sugar daddy or SD) enters a beneficial relationship with a younger, financially-challenged partner (sugar baby or SB). In this relationship, the younger partner will provide a dating-like relationship in exchange for monetary gain, financial support, mentorship, gifts, or all of the above. If your SD is generous, he might even pay for a boob job, rent/mortgage, your university degree, and the likes.
Most sugar daddies are older professionals or businessmen who are already established financially. These individuals are just too busy in their craft to play the romantic game. Meanwhile, a sugar baby is an attractive younger woman who wants to make extra money, achieve a goal, and experience a little bit of luxury while at it.
Is It Legal?
Although sugaring is often seen as “sex work,” it is usually not the case in real life. Sex is involved in most sugar relationships, but arrangements with only platonic relationships do exist. As long as both partners are at the age of consent, and the sugar money or gifts are not given as payment for sexual activities only, it is not considered sex work. While sex work is illegal in some areas, sugar dating is still legal but sits in a grey area.
Pros & Cons of Being A Sugar Baby
Being in a sugar dating relationship can be beneficial and a pleasant experience. However, it’s just like other dating endeavors and comes with rewards and challenges. Before you consider making your first steps in sugar dating, check the list of pros and cons below.
Sugar Baby Pros
1. Financial Gains
Monetary gains are probably considered the most significant incentive in sugar dating. Sugar daddies spoil their babies with lavish gifts, allowances, trips, vacations, and more. With sugaring, you can receive a significant amount of purchasing power, which you can allocate in other things like paying debts.
2. Flexible Working Time
In sugar dating, you don’t have to be with your sugar daddy each time of the week. There are sugar babies who meet their daddies once or twice a month only. Some arrangements are set to weekly or every other day. It all depends on the agreement made between the two parties upon establishing the sugaring relationship.
3. Professional Networking
Believe it or not, there are generous SDs out there who are willing to provide career or networking opportunities to their babies. This benefit is more of an exception than a rule and will likely happen when the SD is single.
4. Useful Life Lessons
In addition to financial incentives, sugar babies can also receive useful life lessons from their daddies. For instance, a daddy that specializes in Finance can give mentorship about saving and investing. There are even sugar dating stories where the sugar baby received advice about the importance of having a 401k and other IRA.
5. Experiencing The World
Vacationing in the Bahamas or cruising the world on a yacht is unthinkable if you don’t have the financial power to do these luxurious activities. But with the help of a generous SD, this is pretty much possible. You can experience vacations and trips by accompanying your sugar daddy on his travels and vacations.
6. Friendship And Companionship
For a lot of sugar babies, spending time with their sugar daddies is quite fun and satisfying. Sharing a genuine bond with your SD makes them willing to become more generous. It also makes the overall experience better for you and your SD.
Sugar Baby Cons
1. Lack of Real Romantic Relationship
Sugaring is not a romantic relationship, so falling in love is not a good idea in this type of hustle. Most sugar daddies choose to end the relationship when they think their babies are genuinely developing romantic feelings with them. It is understandable since sugar daddies often get sugar babies because they cannot commit to a vanilla or real relationship at the moment.
2. Complications With Family And Friends
Keeping your secret sugar life from family and friends is emotionally taxing. Of course, there are sugar babies who don’t keep their secret life hidden. But in most cases, sugar babies don’t want to broadcast that they’re in the sugar bowl. And that means making alibis and lies about their hustle.
3. Sugaring Is Tedious
Being a part of sugar dating means keeping up with your sugar daddy’s lifestyle. Some of the tasks that SDs do is maintaining their appearance and donning the best look for the SD. In addition, as an SB, you would often find yourself compromising to avoid arguments that can break the relationship.
4. Salt Daddies, Splendas, And Other Sugaring Dangers
If someone offered something too good to be true, then it’s probably a scam. Scammers will pose as sugar daddies and will communicate to get your personal information (such as personal email and mobile number). These scammers are often called “Salt Daddies” and should be avoided at all costs. Unfortunately, scams do happen in this industry, and so do other crimes.
Last 2019, a sugar baby known as Mackenzie Lueck was found dead in Salt Lake City after meeting with a potential daddy. Take note: this is more of an exception than the rule, but it can still happen. Before meeting a potential sugar daddy, check for any red flags leading to scamming or other dangers.
How Much Can You Earn From Being A Sugar Baby?
Financial gains are the primary motivator for a lot of young women who enter sugar dating. Although it might sound easy, being a sugar baby is tedious and requires trials and errors. With this in mind, you need to ask the big questions first. Can Sugar Dating pay your rent and cover your necessities? Is it enough to get you going in this industry? Is sugar dating worth it?
The short answer is: maybe.
Sugar babies receive financial, emotional, and even career benefits in sugar dating. But not all sugar daddies are the same. Some daddies are more generous than others and will sweeten the deal to spoil their babies. Others would only provide an allowance enough to cover the necessities and keep their babies.
The Pay Per Meeting or PPM is the allowance given during dates. Meanwhile, the “monthly allowance” is given per month, regardless of how often you meet with your SD. Most babies these days favor the PPM method to keep their schedules flexible. Check the table below to get an idea about the average PPM in different areas of the world.
Take note: this is for getting a general idea of how much an SB usually makes per meeting. Other benefits like gifts, other allowances, and paid trips might or might not be included, depending on the sugar daddy.
|Country / Region||Average Pay Per Meeting (PPM)|
|US – New York||$700 – $1,000|
|US -Los Angeles||$500|
|US -Seattle||$400 – $600|
|US-North Carolina||$400 – $500|
|Us – Chicago||$400 – $800|
|CN – Toronto||$ 450 – $700|
|CN – Vancouver||$500 – $800|
|Singapore||SGD 800 – SGD 1,000|
|Germany||€400 – €600|
|France||€300 – €600|
Source: Allowance Master Thread
Sugar dating is lucrative, but it is not a consistent source of income. The relationship can end at any moment, which also means the allowances and benefits that come with it. There is one popular saying inside the sugaring community: “Don’t sugar in need.” Although it’s a great source of additional money, there is no telling when it will suddenly end.
Is This A Long-term Gig? You Graduate to Trophy Wife, Right?
Current and former sugar babies use the sugaring allowance for things such as paying significant debts faster. Doing this in a long term is not recommended and only encouraged if you have a certain clear end goal that you want to achieve. Typically, becoming a well-off ‘trophy’ wife is the natural evolution but in reality, there’s no real typical end goal. Young students go through nursing school, medical school, or law school financially supported by a sugar daddy. After they get that degree, they won’t have the need or time for sugaring. Basically, it’s up to you, but you should know the end goal!
Entering a sugaring relationship for vices such as buying dresses and expensive bags are usually discouraged. Girl, invest in YOURSELF. Utterly broke? Ehh, I would visit other options I mentioned like camming and OnlyFans first. Sugaring in desperate financial need is an even more discouraging idea. When sugaring in need, people with bad intentions can easily exploit distressed sugar babies.
Think of sugaring as an opportunity to fund your schooling, jumpstarting your emergency fund, or pay your student loans. It is a supplement for a regular, full-time job. If you want a more traditional job in this line of industry, you can check out webcamming, OnlyFans, or flirting online.
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Before You Dive Into Dating Wealthy Single Men
Entering a sugaring relationship is not a side hustle for everyone. The desire to enter this kind of side hustle is understandable, especially to those affected by the on-going global health crisis. But not all young ladies can handle the stigma and stereotyping that comes with this line of work. Try answering the questions below to gauge if you’re really up for this side hustle or not.
Why Are You Sugar Dating?
You can’t just wake up one day and decide to go to a sugar dating site to register. Achieving an end goal should be your primary focus because sugaring isn’t a forever gig. Entering the “sugar bowl” is a sweet prospect for the right person, but can leave a bad taste for the wrong ones.
What Do You Want To Achieve Out Of This Relationship?
Consider the end goal that you are looking for before deciding to dive in. Do you want a platonic or sexual relationship? Is mentorship a big factor, or are the fun and companionship enough? Saying yes to any POT (potential sugar daddy) will only lead to disappointing experiences. Set your expectations and be honest about it in your profile.
How Would You Project Yourself?
Sugaring is just like any other relationship; you need to know how to project yourself to attract suitable prospects. Should you be the sweet darling with an approachable personality? Or would you rather be the sporty type who wants to go on adventurous dates? Letting your personality shine is an essential part of finding a match SD.
Do You Like Dating Older Men?
To fully enjoy the sugaring experience, dating an older man should not be a problem for you. In fact, there are sugar babies that keep coming back to the sugar bowl just because they are genuinely attracted to older men.
Best Sites To Meet Your Sugar Daddy
Once you’re set to start sugar dating, the important thing is finding potential sugar daddies. Before the internet, sugar babies needed to socialize in bars, parties, and other personal gatherings to find a potential daddy (POT). But now, things are easier because of sugar dating sites. All you have to do is set up your profile and wait for any offers from POTs.
Seeking Arrangement (or SA) is the most popular sugar dating site for both SBs and SDs. All SBs can join for free, but there is an upgraded version for $19.99 monthly, which enables advanced privacy, search + inbox filters, read message receipts and an ad-free experience.
SA is recommended by the majority of people who are into sugaring because it has the most user base among other sugaring sites. However, do note that there are also more scammers and Splenda daddies that lurk on this website.
Although not as big as Seeking Arrangement, SugaDaddy is quite a popular alternative. However, the userbase is not as big as the latter. It offers a three-day free trial for membership, which is about $39.95 per month. One of the best things about this site is its verification system. The site flags out low-effort profiles immediately, making it harder for scammers to get through the site.
Sugar Daddy Meet is another time-tested sugar dating site. Just like Seeking Arrangement and SugarDaddy.com, it is a platform that provides a place for sugar babies and daddies who want to meet and date. The twist with this website is that it is only for female sugar babies and male sugar daddies. Premium membership is about $50 per month. Membership is only available to the 20 wealthiest countries worldwide.
This site has a unique feature: it lets potential Sugar Daddies / Mommas bid. Whoever is the highest bidder would have the chance to date the sugar baby. On average, people are bidding about $125 just to score a first date, and the number can go up depending on the competition.
AgeMatch doesn’t advertise its site as a sugar dating platform. It doesn’t feature any financial incentives when matching, such as allowances and PPM. More of traditional dating sites, this is site is still an excellent place to meet potential matches. The majority of members are from the US and are looking for serious relationships. It has about 350,000 active members weekly.
The “Splenda Daddy”
Splenda daddies are not like scammers with bad intentions. These are also “sugar daddies” who want to spoil their babies with gifts and affection. However, they aren’t as wealthy and generous compared to real sugar daddies. Hence, the name “Splenda Daddy” is based on the artificial sweetener Splenda.
These older men like to date younger women but don’t have the funds to do so indulgently. If a Sugar Daddy would treat you to an expensive vacation, a Splenda Daddy would take you to a family-owned vacation house.
For most experienced sugar babies, dating a Splenda can come with both joy and headaches. Most Splenda Daddies are stingy and would only gift the bare minimum, just enough to keep their babies at bay. On the other hand, some Splendas are more sensitive to their SB’s feelings and will try to give the experiences when they could.
At the end of the day, both daddies will give financial benefits to their SBs in exchange for companionship and other things. As a sugar baby, you should focus on your goals and building a good vibe with your daddy. If the experience is terrible at the get-go, or if the relationship doesn’t help you reach your goals at all, then it is your cue to leave or ignore this person.
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Spotting The Red Flags – How To Avoid a Scammer?
Scamming is also prevalent in the sugaring industry. A very popular form of scam in the sugar bowl is the Overpayment Scam. Commonly, the scammer would pose as a wealthy businessperson who is out of the country but wants to provide you before the meeting. This might sound too good to be true, and it is.
What would happen next is that they will ask for your personal information to send you money. After receiving information, these scammers will use your information to get money from your bank accounts. Another scam is when they ask you to buy a gift card and ask for the code. To avoid these scams, these are the behaviors you should look out for.
Sugar Daddy Scammers
- Uses Odd Phrases In The Conversation
- Promises To Provide Money Before Meeting
- Insists To Continue The Conversation On Other Platforms
- Requires You To Buy Something
- Asks “General” Questions
- Asks You To Send Money
Of course, not all problematic sugar daddies are scammers. These daddies still spoil and give gifts or allowances. But this type of SD should be avoided nonetheless due to their dangerous or manipulative nature.
If you noticed one or two traits listed below, you should be wary of that person’s intentions. It might be better if you block these kinds of profiles to avoid future communications.
Problematic Sugar Daddies
- Gets Overly Sexual On First Texts
- Asks Too Much Personal Information
- Uses Raunchy Or Extremely Inappropriate Username
- Requests Dates On Unreasonable Hour/Location
- Conflicting Stories
- Complains About The Bill or Allowances
- “Intimacy first before paying”
- Strange Profile And “About Me”
Keeping Yourself Safe
Safety should be a priority when it comes to sugar dating. Keeping yourself safe from scammers and bad sugar daddies should be one of the first things to learn before sugaring. Here are some methods to keep you and your identity safe.
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1. Communicate Via Website Managing (Not On SMS or Email)
As much as possible, communicate with a potential SD via the website before the first date. Avoid bringing communication to other platforms like SMS and email. Consider your phone number private information and avoid giving it until trust has been established.
If you and your POT decided to take it to the next level, consider getting a virtual number. Google Voice is an excellent place to start since it is free and reliable. This step is to avoid potential blackmailing or persistent nagging when things go south in the future. You can cut a bad sugar daddy out of your life without changing your personal number.
And most importantly, do not give any contact information you use for your banking accounts. A real sugar daddy will provide you with a black card, credit card, or other financial means to provide your allowances.
2. Never Agree To Meet In Hotels Or Residence On First Date
As much as possible, meet your POT in a public place (coffee shops, restaurants, etc.) First dates are done to evaluate whether you and your POT is compatible. This is especially important to new sugar babies, who might get coerced into doing what they don’t like because of inexperience.
3. Make Your Own “Verification System”
Every experienced sugar baby has ways of verifying the “realness” of a POT. Making a real-time call is the most popular option, but you can create a more effective method. For example, ask a picture of them wearing or holding something specific. Remember: always ask for a voice or video call before dating.
4. Don’t Go On A Date After The First Text
Getting a clear picture of someone’s intention is not really possible after a few texts. Spend a good amount of time talking with a POT. Evaluate how your POT’s interacts with you. It will help you decide whether he’s worth a first date or not.
Always go for a platonic first date and trust your gut feeling if something feels off. If you’re feeling uncomfortable during the date, don’t ignore it; get yourself out of the situation as soon as possible. Excuse yourself from the date and block the person if you think it necessary.
5. Don’t Give Important Personal Information
In practice, experienced sugar babies only share three pieces of information on the initial date: price, dating preferences, and how amazing they are. Do not give any information that can compromise your personal, real identity. Most important of all, don’t send a nude photo of yourself. If your POT insists on getting a nude photo, consider it a red flag and block their contact.